I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
