no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
