You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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