Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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