I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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