I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
