His pubic hair was longer than his dick
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
