I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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