We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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