youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
