I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
