K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
