we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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