I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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