I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
