i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
