Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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