she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Two words: blizzard sex
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
