the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Dear god my vagina.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
