she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
