Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
