i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
