Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
