Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
