you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
