my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
