if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i came on her dog
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
