so let's talk penis.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
