Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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