My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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