Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
