I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
