Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
