My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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