okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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