belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
