Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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