They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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