In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
