Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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