Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
