Midget sex pt 2 tonight
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
