I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
