Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
