How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
