I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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