She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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