also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
