I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
And then he peed in my hair
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
