You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
