I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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