im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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