Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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